how many dyslexic satanists accidentally summon santa
having seaweed rub against u when ur swimming in the ocean is like having satan slowly caress ur legs and toes while smiling creepily at u and whispering “mayonnaise”
I feel so uncomfortable
this is one of the funniest things i’ve ever read
gummy bear + potassium chlorate
ROCK N ROLL
I want my spine removed so i can go down stairs like a slinkie
adventures in school
MY FRIEND JUST PUT THIS ON INSTAGRAM AND ITS FUCKING ME UP
And that’s how I got a concussion
IM LAUGHING SO HARD I THOUGHT IT WAS A GIANT BOTTLE FALLING OVER AND CRUSHING HIM OH MY GOD
Fire from a burning building being sucked into a tornado.
get out of there fireman what are you doing
there’s a tornado
I can’t stop laughing at this fireman
he’s just standing there going
“well darn, look at that.
L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very very extraordinary
So we have an Italian exchange student at our school. And he and I were hanging out and he saw a pony, and he tried to show me but he didn’t know what it was called so he just pointed at it and said “Look, the compressed horse.”
And then he just grinned at his complete understanding of the English language.