amy;;22/Leeds,uk//My twiggy♥
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hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.  Officer: Don’t have one? Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Woman: I can’t do that. Officer: Why not? Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am? Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The first officer is stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride

hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride

(via peterswebmemhi)

singwithme2397:

the horror and concentration on his face

(Source: thomasghally, via killyourfamilyandworshipsatan)

autobahnvismarck:


perstephsanscouronne:

becausebirds:

Our visitor sure is enthusiastic!

This is all about the llama staring at you meaningfully through the rearview mirror.

The ostrich is just a distraction for the murder that llama will perform

autobahnvismarck:

perstephsanscouronne:

becausebirds:

Our visitor sure is enthusiastic!

This is all about the llama staring at you meaningfully through the rearview mirror.

The ostrich is just a distraction for the murder that llama will perform

(via energyturtl3)

toodopetoexist:

Who wore it better?

toodopetoexist:

Who wore it better?

(via energyturtl3)

zeloserwilder:

I’M SO MAD

MY MOM JUST SAT ME DOWN LIKE “I found a picture of you on the internet of you in class” AND SHE’S ALL SERIOUS AND SO I’M LIKE WELL SHOW ME THE FUCKING PICTURE OH MY GOD THIS IS AN INVASION OF MY PRIVACY I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS

AND SHE PULLS UP THIS

image

(via energyturtl3)

(Source: jajaneenee, via tumblcakes)

(Source: hatemusic, via 3oh3mania)

thekattcameback:

sharkchunks:

This may be the greatest facial expression ever captured on film.

Pure perfection.

thekattcameback:

sharkchunks:

This may be the greatest facial expression ever captured on film.

Pure perfection.

(via tumblcakes)


astronomy-to-zoology:

A Gladiator Spider (Dinopis sp.) using its web as a net to catch a cricket.
watch the video here

astronomy-to-zoology:

A Gladiator Spider (Dinopis sp.) using its web as a net to catch a cricket.

watch the video here

(via alittleniave)

gamegrrl:

did a little eyeliner tutorial for you guys :-)

(via eryntherat)

kaible:

"He’s behind me making that fucking face again. I don’t even have to turn around to know it. God damn it. I hate that goddamned stupid face he makes. God fucking damnit."

kaible:

"He’s behind me making that fucking face again. I don’t even have to turn around to know it. God damn it. I hate that goddamned stupid face he makes. God fucking damnit."

(Source: kagonekoshiro.blog86.fc2.com, via thefringedfemme)